EP 05 Routines That Bless| Family Devotions (transcript)
One of the gifts of motherhood is to overhear a child humming or singing softly while playing or doing chores only to discover they are singing a hymn we learned in church or during our family devotions. Is there anything more precious than listening to children’s voices singing praises to God?
To hear a child sing as loud as possible: “Holy, holy, holy, Lord God almighty, all thy works shall praise thy name in earth and sky and sea” is to enter into the eternal throne room where we will all be lifting up our voices in worship. It’s a gift and duty to teach our children about their creator…
Picture: The Thankful Poor, Henry Ossawa Tanner
*********
Homeschooling is more than just Math homework and reading lessons. Because we are learning at home, all of life is our classroom. We get to explore and learn with our children through books and outings together. But it’s our daily rhythms and habits in the home that give us the foundation we need for digging into great books and learning new things together. This happens within the context of family life - which is by its nature messy and full of sibling squabbles and children who need to be coached in the arts of obedience. We need to restore order and peace regularly. There are a few things within our control as home managers that will set us up to spend time enjoying our children and nurturing them toward good habits. When our daily rhythms make time for regular devotions, clean laundry and meals at the proper times, the rest of life can be lived more easily.
We begin by looking at the foundational rhythms of the home that support the homeschool. Family devotions come first. In the earlier episodes we looked at laundry, and meal systems that bring freedom to the homeschool. Without these foundations in place, it’s very difficult to get to math and reading. So now we turn to the rock on which it all stands: family devotions.
Just as a gardener prepares the soil as the foundation for plants to flourish, the foundational rhythms we establish in our homes creates fertile ground for living family life well. We could be “happy-go-lucky and haphazard” with our homemaking, but this approach is neither satisfying nor effective. Most modern mothers come to homemaking with a lack of understanding of its joys, virtues, and rewards. Our culture tells us that real work is done in high-powered high-paying careers that bring us pats on the back and contribute to the family financially. Our private lives as homemakers, on the other hand, go unnoticed, unappreciated, and undervalued. And of course, that’s where we are wrong. Caring for the home and the people in it is the foundational work that supports the family, which allows our churches to thrive, which then can care for our communities, that leads to stronger cities, that allows for states to pass rightly ordered laws which leads to national laws that also support human flourishing. The home is the foundational unit of society.
Let’s look at a tale of two homes to show you what I mean:
The first home is always in distress. Bedtimes and meal times are sporadic. Each meal is a surprise to the creator and the consumer. When it will come and what it will be is decided on-the-fly. Meals are prepared in a flurry and huge piles of dishes remain in the sink for 24 hours after eating and shuffling to the next activity. When it comes time for another family meal, the dishes must be washed, scraped and scoured before the cooking can begin. The laundry is no better. Dirty laundry is piled up on floors and chairs. Clean laundry is scattered on the floor and cascades out of dressers . No one can find the proper clothes to wear. When messes are made by children through paper cutting, doll playing or what have you, it only adds to the chaos. It’s difficult to restore order because so much is out of order. This mother is frazzled not knowing where to begin. Her children are usually wearing their pajamas all day. Chaos reigns.
In the second home, there is peace. The mother, though untrained in the home arts, labored to learn a system for meals and is able to have command of what is for breakfast, lunch and dinner each day. These are offered at their proper time and with dependable regularity. Sometimes she makes a special meal just because and sets the table with a tablecloth and bouquet of garden flowers. She works hard on Saturdays so that the Sunday meals can come easily and still provide rest for herself and her family. Chores are delegated to children and though they still need to be coached and reminded, everyone knows what’s expected of them. Children and adults alike work together each day to restore order and care for the home. The mother in this home takes pride in her work and is satisfied by the peace and unity she sows with her labors. When messes are made through child play, order is easily restored because the play things almost want to be returned to their homes. The work can be mundane, but singing folk songs, piano music, and time outside break up the repetition and offer comfort to the weary workers. The home is always ready to welcome guests and is hospitable not only to friends, but to the family who lives there as well. Peace is restored.
These are pictures of real homes. Each picture could even depict the same home at different seasons. Sometimes a new baby, an illness or a busy season can put any home into the first picture. But we want to live most of our family life in the second. Having an ideal that we strive for is helpful. It should not burden us and make us compare ourselves to others, but raises the standard for ourselves and our homes beyond the low bar placed on us by our culture. “They” want to pat us on the head and tell us we are doing a good job for just getting out of bed. We’d like higher standards for ourselves and our children. We want to live well and enjoy these precious days with our children, not just endure them.
A few habits are helpful to move us to live more closely to the second more peaceful home. They can be summed up in three words: prayer, laundry, and meals.
The most important habit we can establish in our homes is family devotions. Family devotions include reading the Bible, praying, and singing praises to God each day. Regular time reading and praying together leads our children to know and hear from their creator. They become immersed in God’s word through the repetition of hearing the stories over and over again throughout their childhood. And, what’s more, we parents get to be reminded of God’s faithfulness and love as we tell our children about His character, faithfulness, mercy, and grace. Just like the Israelites we forget that God redeemed us to live lives that bring Him glory and honor. We need to be reminded each day. It’s not enough to hear the Word proclaimed on Sunday. We need to feed on His word throughout the week so that it will form us and change us into the likeness of Christ. Just as our bodies need to eat meals regularly, so our souls need to feed on the Word of God to be well nourished. We would not withhold good food from our children to help them to grow to their full stature and so we should not withhold the words of scripture from them either.
Each faith tradition and each family puts their own spin on the practice of family devotions. This is not a lifeless practice that is stiff and militant. Think of it as feasting and enjoying. The toddlers will wiggle, the preschooler may jiggle. Though the father should be the one to lead family devotions it is the role of the mother to make the space, order the children and generally set apart the time so that the family can be present and available. It could look like this:
During breakfast, while mouths are full, open the Bible and read a chapter aloud. Sometimes we like to read the notes in our study Bible about the passage. We ask our children to tell back what happened or we explain or look up any parts that are new or unfamiliar. Just the other day this happened. We read Proverbs 3:10 which says, “Honor the LORD with your wealth and with the first fruits of all your produce; then your barns will be filled with plenty, and your vats will be bursting with wine.” I could not picture what a “vat bursting with wine” looked like. So, we looked it up. That got us talking about the process of stomping on grapes and what fun that would be. Of course this got us a bit off our flow, but it helped us to have a picture in our minds and have a relationship with the text. And that’s what we want: a relationship. It’s good to keep the Bible reading short. Just a little each day is good food.
After we read from God’s word, we go over our memory work - either a catechism or scripture memory. We enjoy this part because the kids love to see how far they can remember without help. Sometimes we just read the selection and say it together. Little ones do shorter passages - older ones like the challenge of longer passages. We enjoy always having some sort of memory work going. Again, keep it short. Simply reading the same verse each day will cement it in your head by the end of the week. Review is helpful, but don’t get bogged down in those weeds. Trust the process.
Once we’ve gone over our memory work we spend time in prayer. There are some marvelous practices for praying handed down through church history. Reciting the Lord’s prayer together is lovely. Or you may go through the ACTS prayer acrostic. In this method you offer four different types of prayers:
A is adoration (this is a praise of God’s character) - going around the table naming the attributes of God such as: God you are the creator - you are kind - Lord you are powerful and just. God, you are our protector and provider. You are the great healer. I enjoy hearing what the children will come up with.
Next is the C, which is confession (this is where you confess your sins)- this one is nice to do quietly with bowed heads and eyes closed. We’ve enjoyed using the Prayer of Confession from the common book of prayer. It's beautiful. Here it is in case you aren’t familiar with its beauty and truth:
Now we come to T which is for thanksgiving (this is where you thank God for something) - we go around the table again and say something we are thankful for.
Finally, S is for supplication (you ask God for help in some way). We use our prayer time to pray for each child. We assigned a day of the week to each child. On this day, we pray for that child. For a large family, it’s nice to set apart time to pray specifically for one child at a time. If you are new to the practice of family devotions, just pick a prayer method and get started. I recommend the Lord’s Prayer just to get your feet wet. Keep it short and simple.
Now that you’ve prayed it’s time to wrap things up and reign in those little ones who, by now have started to show signs of fatigue. Singing hymns and songs of praise together usually gets everyone back on track. What’s amazing about singing is how it unites us in praise. The rise and fall of our voices together allows us to join in the infinite praises we will offer to our King in eternity. Music is a spiritual and divine expression we can use to glorify God and enjoy Him. We know that it is a heavenly practice that the Lord, in His mercy, reveals to us to use in our temporal state. Singing together helps us to remember that there is more to ourselves than just this life. In the life to come, these praises will be offered with joy and thanksgiving. We can bring our children into that eternal glory for a moment on any common day.
The easiest way to get started with singing together is to close with the doxology. Your church tradition may have a hymnal or song book that would help you and your children learn the songs sung during church. But, like with the prayer, just pick one song and do that one for a bit while you are establishing the habit. You can change things up from there.
Practicing family devotions is one of those anchors in family life that pull everyone outside of the daily struggle to obey and find lost shoes. For a few moments each day we can come together and consider eternity. The foundation of our life together with our children is best built on feasting on scripture with them each day. This orients our attitudes and hearts to do the work of solving math problems and tackling reading lessons within their proper place.
For now, I’ll leave you with a passage from Deuteronomy 6:
Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.
Listen to this episode on Spotify:
Listen on Apple: