Last week wrecked me. My husband was out of town and all of my regular responsibilities piled up. I was pulled in a thousand directions. By Friday afternoon, I was exhausted. With so many plates spinning, I allowed myself to become overwhelmed. When I become overwhelmed, my thoughts become a jumble of emotions, lists, options, and scenarios. They pile on and I can feel the burden of my responsibilities weighing on me like I’m dragging a barge. At times I can let my basic responsibilities such as making dinner, tidying up the house, sorting laundry, and managing chores to feel like it’s more than I can handle. But, my normal life ought not to feel like such a heavy load to carry. My overwhelmed feeling is a bad habit that I’m working to kick. We can indulge ourselves when we feel the weight of life’s problems. We can throw a pity party, or we can choose a better thought. Overwhelm often comes from trying to control what only God can hold.
Instead of letting my life feel like a burden that is too heavy I need to remember that I have good work to do in caring for my seven children and loving my husband well. My family and their needs are the good work God has given me to do - to love them well and give them a loving home. It is by being faithful with my basic responsibilities that God works in me. And as I’m faithful in my work, I can be the means through which God cares for each person in my family. He works and I work. Instead of being overwhelmed, we can choose to respond differently. Our work as mothers is essential. Our time and energy are to be invested back into God’s Kingdom for His glory - right here at home.
I noticed that I’ve recently gotten into a habit of being overwhelmed by the regular work that must be done each week. I’m working to break this habit and change my response so that when life feels unmanageable, I can choose a better response. I’ve learned from Mystie Winckler that there are two responses that are better than indulging overwhelm: pray and brain dump.
Prayer is the Best Response
The best thing to do when that feeling of overwhelm comes over us is to pray. When I give my anxieties to the Lord in prayer, I’m able to remember that He is in control. Not me. The problems that I face each day are too big for me to control or handle on my own. And I do try to control my life so I don’t feel overwhelmed. This is a fools errand. I can’t control my teens when they are out and about; instead the Lord is there to guide them. I cannot control things with my husband’s workplace, instead, I must remember that it is the Lord who gives grace and wisdom in all things. The health of my children, in many ways is outside of my control. I do my best and ask the Lord to wash over our food supply, grocery, budget, and meal times. Prayer is the answer to all of life’s challenges because the truth is that God controls everything.
The Brain Dump is the Best Tool
When my head is really spinning, the best cure is to grab a piece of paper and a pen and do a brain dump. A brain dump is just a list of everything that is rattling around in your brain. Just write and write until there is nothing left to write about. I like to review my list and circle things that are alike and find commonalities. Sometimes I can cross things off my list as an idea for a project that needs to die on the vine or a ridiculous worry that needs to stop zapping my energy. The brain dump helps make things more clear and helps me understand the path forward with clarity.
Notice how I didn’t take anything off my plate to relieve the overwhelm? I know, I thought maybe I should too, but motherhood is about growth. God is strengthening us for this good work and we can either change our attitudes and outlooks or we can feel as though we’re pulling that barge up stream. It was my perspective not my circumstances that needed to change. And again, it wasn’t like I did anything grand, I acknowledged what is true: God is in control and He can be trusted. This truth, acknowledge through prayer, is enough to lighten any load.
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Oh, I sat down to read this at just the right time. After a busy and stressful weekend, I worked hard today to set life back on track today. And through it all I was fighting anxious feelings of overwhelm. Thank you so much for sharing this. It is a welcome reminder.
Loved a story told by Alexandra Stoddard who was going through a time as you described; her boss looked at her and asked the trouble? After sharing her tale she ended it by saying she was overwhelmed! Her boss nodded and said, “Sandy, you’re just whelmed. And thankfulness will get you over your whelmed!”
Lord Jesus, thank you for faithfully carrying us through our times of whelm!